My Walk by Grace

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.'

Its that time of year. Christmas parties. Yay. Lets go hang out with people we hate and get drunk and kiss ass... Ok so I'm actually looking forward to mine :) I like most of the people I work with... its the other one I'm worried about. I've got to go to my hubby's party and up until a few months ago... I worked there. Talk about traumatic. Those guys are nuts. I decided to leave because I started vomitting blood... yes. It was that bad. And there was this one manager. I'm not one to be nasty and I do believe that everyone is essentially good but she was an abomination. I almost had a breakdown because of her. I'm not sure what to say to her... or even to say anything.... The thing is that since I've left I realised how small and inconsequential that whole company was. And while I feel that there are much more important things in the world to concentrate on I'm allowing this one personal drama as an indulgence. What if I see her crawl over the table and...

To blog or not to blog.... that is the question..... I'm told this is cheaper than therapy so I should give it a try... Where to start..... I woke up one morning with the perfect life. Nothing is wrong. Everything is great. Great job, great family.... lots of stuff... What have I turned into? I look the other way at the street corners because seeing people begging gives me a hollow feeling in my gut. I used to hate watching the news coz it was all just violence but now I watch it all the time. I see people dying everyday and it sickens me... because I have... lots of stuff. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to pretend that my country is just fine coz its not. I dont want to pretend I'm happy coz I'm not. The stuff I have is great... its what people want but its just that. Why do I have it? Why have I worked so hard for stuff. I get these forwarded emails about mass genocide and people starving to death and I delete them coz I dont want to see the truth.... I'm...