Why are you smoking Jaiyne?
I hate the taste of cigarettes, hate the smell.. hate everything to go with it.. yet I managed to pick up smoking in the last month.. I hate to say it.. its the isolation. I don't smoke with the pack, I step away. I break off. I look for the silence. I'm extroverted. But in that moment, I want the alone. I crave the solitude. The peace, just me and my thoughts. No one. Nothing else. A friend asked me why I was isolating myself and to be honest I hadn't noticed. But now. Its becoming a part of me. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know why I can't sleep at night. I'm acutely aware of being alone. But what irks me is my soul. It's restless. I can't still it. I asked for help and You gave me nothing. I'm searching for something.. to calm my storm. But this search is fruitless.. I did some self destructive things last year.. I just wanted to feel. But now I cant even consider it. Where am I going? What am I doing? The fuck I know...