Even when you're being a potato..

So I dedicated this year to my walk with God. I want to read my Bible cover to cover, contribute financially consistently and just generally grow with God. No distractions, no partying, no dating. Just trying my best to live righteously and be who God wants me to be.

So its Feb 12, and I got distracted sooooo badly. I was even angry at God. There's this person who just makes my soul smile and its become such an awkward painful relationship. He just ignores me. And I was mad at God for let me get into this situation.

I messaged my friend, to complain, and whine, and just be a potato.. and she was so calm.

She hit me with something profound. There's 3 ways out of a crush:
1. You pray for your feelings to be removed, and God takes them away;
2. You pray for God to reveal what he wants to you to do and it will be revealed; and
3. You just pine and pine and pine.

So I looooove to just wallow in some good pining. Then I get frustrated that nothing is happening and I pray for God to remove the feelings and nothing happens.

I completely lost the plot. God told me that He wants me to be still and we are not ready for anything. God doesn't need my help on this. His promises still stand.

I feel like such a potato. What was I thinking would happen? I got completely distracted over the purpose of this year. NO DISTRACTIONS.

I can feel God patting my head, like I pat my kid when shes being a potato.

I'm sorry Lord, for the things I made it when its all about you.

Stay strong and fight the good fight,
Lojic

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